Host of Scam School for Discovery & Hacking The System for NatGeo. 2 Billboard #1 comedy albums ~New Show: The Modern Rogue~ youtube.com/modernrogue
RT @darryl_macleod: @shwood entertained the crowd at the #AtlSecCon speakers dinner at @lotsixbar. #infosec #Halifax #NovaScotia https://t.…
RT @marknca: speakers dinner entertainment @atlseccon provided by the amazing @shwood from @ScamSchool! #atlseccon https://t.co/g9QATF2ggu
if you’re a magician, this newest scam school is easily one of the cleverest mentalism principles we’ve ever taught, and I’ll bet you a dollar you love it and be surprised: The Impossible Instagram Illusion youtu.be/FDqB0AEPi4Y
RT @HHNRumors: Did your @shwood escape? Can't seem to figure out which way he went? No worries, we've thought of that! Just check the conve…
I'd have an easier time punching an avalanche back up a mountain. Texts? Emails? Like a river man. Drink what you can while you can. (Twitter though, I'm pretty good at.) twitter.com/DeanNoLongerIn…
Hey, anyone know what this crap is? Just got this text message, and I can’t tell if it’s just malware spam, or if there’s some dumb new social media platform that downloads your contacts and spams them. Anyone else see this? https://t.co/h7zn3QqX7Z
‘Night, weirdos. Love you.
Aw, man. I just hit return so many times. It didn’t work.
AHH!!! I’m so dumb! I was halfway through asking “why doesn’t the twitter app let you hit return more than once?” And, while asking discovered that it’s only with the numbers and symbols. Let us celebrate: (Yay!)
Last night on Night Attack, we played a game of "Who tweeted it?" between Kanye West and Alex Jones. It was harder and funnier than you'd think. nightattack.tv/episode/218
Favorite bit about that article was my new attack phrase: "It's on like Donkey Swan!" twitter.com/Laura_C_Evans/…
5 "Harmless" Animals That Can Straight-Up Kill You: themodernrogue.com/articles/2018/…
Man, tonight was a really fun episode of Night Attack. If you enjoy irreverent shenanigans, I wholeheartedly recommend you give us a try in your podcast thingy.
I just started to write “Canada,” and my phone autocorrected it to “Xanax.” Seems legit.
My brother was praising Tom Hardy’s voice work, and accidentally called Bane “McBain,” and now I’m crying laughing doing ever McBain Simpson’s quote in the “Bane” voice.
RT @albert71292: Watching " @Cordkillers " Ep.217, w/ @acedtect and @shwood , at twitch.tv/nightattack -irc.chatrealm.net #chat #Cordkil…
Weird Things podcast recording live right now! twitch.tv/nightattack join us!
The first season of Westworld I watched week by week, but just about everyone who binged it all at once seemed to have a better experience for it. Should I hold off on season 2 so I can binge it all at once? Or would it just be crazy to not watch along with everyone else?
re-watching The Muppets. Still pretty great.
Man, I'm on your side on this one. Tweetdeck is the jam on desktop, and I've yet to find anything close to it on mobile. twitter.com/Asetisis/statu…
Man, I just switched FROM tweetbot for the exact same reason. What's going on?? Which one should we both be using? twitter.com/JustinRYoung/s…
Still 100% LOVE my Rad Power Bike. And you can still support the show if you grab yours at radpowerbikes.com/pages/rogue twitter.com/DKBIntrigue/st…
hooooooo boy. It's 2am. And that means it's time for me to re-watch one of our funniest modern rogue episodes to date: youtube.com/watch?v=h6qRA-… (and if @invisiblewife asks tomorrow whether I've moved on to episode 5 of season 1 of Lost in Space, YOU COVER MY BACK, BROS!)
It felt to me a bit like discovering the sex of your baby via ultrasound: you still had a very special moment; it just happened three months before the "main event." twitter.com/kuhan/status/9…
ah, dangit. I just assumed everyone would know I was thinking of Thor: Ragnarok when I wrote that tweet. I suppose my question was: is there an artistically moral case to be made for "spoiling" a plot point, if you know it will increase the number of people enjoying the story?
I've been thinking about this from another angle: there's absolutely zero artistic justification for revealing the Hulk as the surprise of the first act. Yet how many more people saw the movie specifically because that was revealed? Which option serves greater artistic good? twitter.com/jeffcannata/st…
That's dumb and none of those words mean anything. Free people should be free to make any promises to each other they like. If I want to clean your shed for 11 pennies, it seems like I should be free to do that. twitter.com/PaprikaPink/st…
I performed 3 card tricks at the Austin Magicians club, and CJ needed someone to run sound at his shows, and seemed to think I was funny. Next thing I knew, we were business partners and co-authors. CJ's not just good people, he's the best among good people. twitter.com/LouisGordon/st…
As a grown man who plays games for a living, I deeply disagree with this sentiment. twitter.com/KevinWalsh222/…
Surreal. Wonderful. Precious. You spend your whole life wishing you could be like your heroes, and then suddenly there you are, on stage and on TV, performing for your heroes. I'm glad there were cameras there. twitter.com/AaronMullins23…
Because I hoped we could become friends. How are we doing? twitter.com/ChroNomadics/s…
20-year friendships built on mutual respect and appreciation are a wonderful and very real thing. It makes me happy that Jason and I doing goofy stuff makes so many people think "that's how I feel with my friends" twitter.com/lolnope01/stat…
I would absolutely love this. Let's start writing a show right this minute that would make this happen. twitter.com/ThePhantomGame…
Agreed. But even better was being 20 pounds lighter and 10 years younger. (except for the money part. That sucked. Oh, and not having kids...wouldn't trade them for the world. Oh, crap! Internet was garbage back then, too...) Know what? I'm ok with being exactly me, right now. twitter.com/CJBlaskewicz/s…
Ever read this letter? It changed my life, and may be of help to you, too: themodernrogue.com/articles/2018/… twitter.com/55TbirdChick/s…
not yet! we were told that the longer it sits, the better it'll taste, but we were thinking of doing it as a patreon livestream twitter.com/Steve_sj12/sta…
Still not there. (but tax season got me feeling awfully, awfully close) twitter.com/criskingdom/st…
oooohhhhhh, bit of turbulence here! Yikes! I don't know how much longer this internet connection will hold up... twitter.com/invisiblewife/…
I was a fry cook at Chick-Fil-A. I made $3.25 per hour, and because I was 15 years old, my mom had to drive me 20 minutes to and from work for each 3-hour shift. twitter.com/SearchWookie/s…
I can predict with 100% confidence that yes, sports will occur, and while many will happy and others sad, people who make money on sports will be very pleased that they are still making a lot of money on sports. twitter.com/DrJohnAquino/s…
I like notecards. Write down thoughts, vignettes, locations, costumes, plot devices, movies, comic book superheroes, religions, something that makes you angry, a few personal goals... then shuffle them all up, deal them out, and try to write a routine to match whatever you see twitter.com/MarkyShark_/st…
Make it a lasting property that feeds all our families. Make it the one thing I'm remembered for long after I die. twitter.com/PeteWhiz/statu…
RT @BioChem_Lifter: @shwood Can you follow me!?!? Also fortnite or pubg?
I can confidently predict the winner on this one: CORPORATE AMERICA. HEYOOOOO!O!!!!! hot takes, people! get 'em while they're hot!! And they'll always be hot thanks to HOTCO™ brand heat-additive! twitter.com/RealGuyBroman/…
Teachers will tell you it's the mitochondria, but that's just revisionist history. The Mitochondria is just a competing organism that was absorbed and made the thralls of our bodies. twitter.com/JetKeChow1/sta…
38 years. At which point it popped out of my mind and into the tagline of scamstuff.com twitter.com/OpticalOsiris/…
step #1: treat everyone like you're already friends. step #2: HOLY CRAP YOU'RE NOW ACTUALLY FRIENDS! twitter.com/MartyMalinowsk…
YES YES YES YES YES. Watch this weeks episode, and then wonder what it would look like to fire a potato cannon at point-blank range at a human head. OMG you are not prepared. twitter.com/Pa55w0rd1_2/st…
Decide right now that you're willing to be god-awful for 20 years while you learn to become great. Then (equally important) decide to accept that once you actually become good, you're looking at 20+ years of people telling you that you suck. twitter.com/AboutSinging/s…
FarCry 5, but then when I went on the road I went back on the Hearthstone. I'm not addicted. You're addicted. twitter.com/metalcaveman/s…
In our 20 year friendship, I honestly can't remember a time we were on the outs with each other. There was a 3-4 year stretch where we forgot to stay in touch, but I think it's pretty clear we've been friends for most of our lives now. twitter.com/Sprinklerhoff/…
Just write us a theme song and I'm sure we can work something out. twitter.com/DanteSparda45/…
It's a curse, actually. He wants to be clean shaven, but every time he writes an extraordinary horror script, the beard reappears. twitter.com/rvnknight/stat…
You can't afford it, and I suspect its value is only going up from here. twitter.com/ptwe3/status/9…
I am not an android, and this is not a 1960's episode of Star Trek. twitter.com/IanGaming604/s…
Neither. @sunbutter or bust. Not only does it taste better, it has the advantage of not killing 2/3 of my kids. twitter.com/RunKat821/stat…
Agree, except I'm the fatter, older, and less courageous one. twitter.com/MatthewSabia/s…
Quitting my day job to shove nails in my eyes for a living. twitter.com/MechanicalDolx…
Been a hot minute since I've pulled one of these: I'm on a plane, so for the next 30 minutes, I'll answer every single tweet. Ask me anything starts... NOW
yes, yes. We can all imagine a version of me that's better than me. (but seriously: fuck that guy.) twitter.com/Quackarazzi/st…
Yeah, but I want parents to feel okay watching it *around* (or maybe even with) their children. Bleeps are awesome: everyone knows what you said, but you have to accept zero consequences for having said it. twitter.com/crash_matrix/s…
Like, even if you were right, and your advice was helpful, it’s such a transgression of our strange one-way friendship to speak that way... So I just assume that secretly you’re a serial killer and the safest thing is to end our relationship immediately.
I’m not proud to admit this... But I pretty much automatically delete any YouTube comment that ends with “you’re welcome.”
RT @DarianWard141: @empJnapo @shwood @CaptainMurphy @chinbeard AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! https://t.co/Radth5r3ZK
"I don't know what kind of breakdown I'm going to have upon seeing my own gelatinous visage emerge from this plaster cocoon." -@captainmurphy youtube.com/watch?v=h6qRA-…
Mythbusters, but with three Adam Savages. youtube.com/watch?v=h6qRA-…
Second viewing complete, and this might be our funniest Modern Rogue episode yet. youtube.com/watch?v=h6qRA-… (I mean... seriously: let me know if you can think of a funnier one. I legit laughed my ass off on the rewatch)
RT @empJnapo: I love this show @shwood @CaptainMurphy @chinbeard https://t.co/ovBGfSOsIy
Pretty great!! 😳 Making a DIY Ballistics Gel Human Head: youtu.be/h6qRA-aYQP0
Question: You know how, when a TV or YT production company doesn't have appropriate releases, they blur out faces? How long (in years or months) before machine learning gizmos just paint licensed faces over them instead?
Every time I’m about to give a talk where I’m an expert, I have the strangest, overpowering urge to shout “I AM A FRAUD AND DON’T KNOW A GODDAMNED THING!” ...that’s probably why I begin most of my talks saying exactly that.
Oh my goodness, Alex. Happy to spread the signal. twitter.com/alexlindsay/st…
Sure it's technically true. And yes, I suppose it's better than the alternative. But "You can't lose stars at this rank" is cold, cold comfort, @BlizzardCS.
Also, here's a lifehack: having the word "facebook" anywhere in your email is an excellent way to get it deleted without being read.
Report: 300 emails down, and I now want to punch every vague email that says "I have an idea that can make you money... will you give me a 15 minute call?" YOU JUST TOOK 90 SECONDS OF MY TIME TO ASK ME FOR 1,350 MORE SECONDS. WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE SAY YES TO THIS
Okay, inbox. That’s 6 down. (I mean, how hard can it be? Let’s do this! You and me! For REALS this time! I mean it!) https://t.co/hjdEMtxQKK
People used to ask me "do you look like that for your show?" and I'd honestly respond, "Nope, I wrote the show so I can look like this." twitter.com/Iatearepublica…
Hoo boy. Today was a big day. Apologies I didn't get to share as much as I'd have liked with you, but the good news is that all of it will be published soon. As my employer, please know that I'll endeavor to be better about sharing stuff going forward. xoxoxoxo
Bryan gets it. That’s thinking like a Modern Rogue... twitter.com/bryluhn/status…
I can’t seem to handle standing in lines, even if I’m at the front of one. WTH. I sat there while everyone queued up, and like an asshole, waited until everyone started boarding to jump up and waltz on to the plane. . . . What is wrong with me? https://t.co/EMOAKLDTj8
Massachusetts? You’re on my shit list. Utah? ...You just barely made the cut (but way too late). Canada? Australia? Finland? We’re going to have words, my friends. You’ve got some explaining to do: themodernrogue.com/articles/2018/…
RT @allan1850: @NightAttackShow @JustinRYoung @shwood I bought my ticket for Night Attack LA
AHHHHHH! JUST ANNOUNCED THIS IS HAPPENING!!! twitter.com/JustinRYoung/s…
I'd try to use reverse psychology to get you to check out our ridiculous Tuesday night comedy program at twitch.tv/nightattack... ...but you're too smart to fall for that.
Rough day. (But I still love you.)
So here's a thing that I did not ever expect to write, but am absolutely thrilled to do so: Guys: The Netflix original series 'Lost in Space' is fantastic. You should watch the first episode immediately.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG I had totally forgotten this. Such a great moment. twitter.com/HHNRumors/stat…
fun fact: If The Incredibles 2 is 21% as good as The Incredibles 1, it will still be among the greatest gifts ever given to mankind.
"A Quiet Place" is the best game of Hello Neighbor I've ever seen.
If you could know what everyone thinks of everything you did:
RT @invisiblewife: I know you have only had 3 hours of sleep because you were hanging out with magicians @shwood Go to bed... you are loo…
 
 
 
 
 
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