John Aielli tells stories, jokes, and things you never thought you needed to know. These are a collection of some of those choicest bits of wisdom.
"I think that it's just possible that the freezing winters we've had in the past are things of the past ... Crazy weatherrr, be afraid of summerrr."
"You're warned: BEWARE of high-fructose corn syrup. It causes obesity."
"They're on the list of great hits that didn't say anything." (The Crystal's Da Doo Run Run and The Police's De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da)
“It’s 8:30 already, my God! Time do flyeth.”
“Not everybody uses words like capricious in songs.”
"I hope you look great too. It's all a matter of how you feel about yourself and confidence and all of that."
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “Coffee. I just love coffee...”
"Anyway, be careful what you dream. It might freak you out."
"The moon doesn't care about the calendar month."
"It's a full beaver moon, that's what they call it. But, we don't have to worry about the beavers."
“For those of you with skin, as you walk out the door grabbing your whatever whatever, I urge you to bring a jacket.”
RT @787owhocares: "Every party I've ever been to had a scientific dictionary." @Eklektikos
“February is the hardest month in the world to pronounce.”
“The way most people serve chicken fried steak is pathetic.”
“People have become multimillionaires by towing cars.”
"The Curse of Frankenstein ruined my life. I saw the head of that Frankenstein monster everywhere in the dark. Oh my goodness, take out the garbage and OH! He's right there in the garbage can. Oooo, that head was horrible!"
[on daylight savings time] "I never can figure it out. I sometimes get very, very, very concentrated and I can actually understand what they're doing. But they should not do it, it's WRONG. They should not mess with my head."
"Well, there are lots of things that're appropriate for Halloween. Well, who cares what's appropriate, we're gonna play some scary stuff today. Are you ready?" [plays Overture from Nightmare Before Christmas] #HappyHallowen
RT @danimalpena: @WellsDunbar @Eklektikos The bats go buzzzz buzzzz buzzz. Here’s a batty one—
[after playing Go Ask Alice] "And remember ... back to the heads again, FEED your head."
RT @cameron_tepper: “You know Dracula wore a tuxedo” -@Eklektikos
"Morrissey has a way of sounding ultimately and ridiculously pathetic." 🙊
[@elizmcqueen says] We’re going to read some comments, because we love when we get comments from listeners on why they love KUTX. It makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside." [John intergects] "Unless they say you’re an idiot." [Elizabeth] "Well, they rarely say that."
"If you wanna find really good bread you have to go to … Well, I can’t tell you or else everyone is going to go buy all the bread."
“Austin Texas—an ever-expanding mushroom of glory.”
“Hmmm ... just about to drop everything, but succeeded in not.”
RT @zai_sarel: @Eklektikos "(Billie Eilish) is only about 18, awfully early about talking about ending it, let's hope she gets over it"
RT @lemonadechee: What is it with guys with three names? <pause> It seems to work for musicians. @Eklektikos
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos [After playing Thelonious Monk's version of "Just a Gigolo"] "A lot of wrong notes in there. Probably on p…
“Dadgummit, where’d it go? You can’t touch anything, it disappears and goes to somewhere else.”
RT @JessicaCalvello: @Eklektikos @KUTX "These internets are so tricky." #kutx #eklektikos
“We live in the age of acronyms now, and I don’t know what half of them mean.”
“Let’s have another space song. I mean, there’s space all around us ... but outer space.”
“There’s something going on in England today ... we might celebrate it. I think it has something to do with a goose.”
“Don’t mess with Mother Nature, she tends to fight back.”
RT @JookieTookie: "This may be the end of the world as we know it" @Eklektikos of @KUTX speaking hard truths about climate change this morn…
“Some of the laws of the universe are malleable ... [15s if silence] This thing still isn’t working.”
“So many songs these days are so overloaded with ambient sounds and hard beats you can hardly tell what they’re singing about.”
“It says MS. Is that Mississippi or is that Missouri? It’s certainly not Massachusetts is it? Those M abbreviations are impossible to remember.”
“What was that line? ‘You won’t need a camel when I take you for a ride’ ... use your imagination.”
"You know, smelling peaches is a way to tell if they’re good or not ... cantaloupes are another thing, though." #wednesdaywisdom
RT @EdnaADominguez: Handy phrases I learned from @Eklektikos on my 45 minute commute from S. Austin: “Alack and alas...” and “come November…
“By the way, I like elephants I just don’t like them with those red ties.”
RT @LittleMissMushi: “Students are everywhere. Beware the University of Texas...” @Eklektikos
“I’m trapped here ... so many things going on ... all tangled up ... I’ll figure it out.” #MondayMood
“This guy in an old, beat up, red truck ... I never did see his face, but he was INSANE! Zooming in and out, every little crevice he would crawl right into. People on the road ... are not the people you know.”
RT @lemonadechee: Today is a new day. Number one, I'm going to go get me a microwave.@Eklektikos
“I was getting ready to eat my supper, you know, late night supper, and the microwave was broken. Ooooh nooo!”
RT @swavapearl: “That was Amber Mark with the song ‘What If’ ... the question that’s essential to science.” @Eklektikos #Science
What are some of your favorite Aielli song sequences?…
RT @bunbuns36: “Blood and glitter.” @Eklektikos
“Whoops! That [song] just ended and I wasn’t ready. Thankfully, I was here.”
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "Some say that the name comes from Olde English, which was "strew" berries, named because the strawberry c…
“That was ‘Jack Straw’ ... and of course there’s the subject of STRAW-berries.”
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "I've learned a lot in the past couple of years about bleach."
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "A lot of liquor stores in Canada. They like to drink."
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos John: "George Bernard Shaw was not shy." Guest: "No. He was the opposite of shy. He was ebullient." J…
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "Tuvan throat singing and motorcycles. That was The HU. Spelled H-U. When you get home, play it on a good…
“Big organ. Big sound. Arcade Fire. That was so good I wanna play it again. No, I’ll probably get in trouble, gotta play something else... Okay, let’s do it.” [plays Intervention again]
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "But they were probably all just tourists. I waited until I got home. I got all that ice cream in the free…
“Everybody I saw up there [Canada] was lickin’ on an ice cream cone.”
“It’s 7:36 and you are where you are.”
RT @GayleellisLydia: @pumpfordmovie @Eklektikos “Whatever melts your butter!”
“For years I have not gone to the haircut store, cut it myself.”
“Git yerself out there and have a root beer float today.”
RT @787owhocares: "It's really difficult to 'be here now' because it's already gone as soon as you think it. Anyway, go meditate on whateve…
RT @lemonadechee: He has long hair... beyond shoulder length, about as long as hair can get for a guy. @Eklektikos
RT @lemonadechee: Viscose, that sounds gross.... Viscose is a synonym for Rayon. Viscose and Rayon, cool fabrics, check them out. @Eklekti…
“Begin the Beguine... It’s a catchy title, but what the hell is a beguine?”
“It’s ten minutes until 8 o’clock... and they’re still digging that hole all the way to China across the street.”
RT @lemonadechee: One of the cool things about getting older is that you learn things that you learned before. @Eklektikos
“The inflation is just ridiculous. So what are you gonna eat for breakfast? Oatmeal? Eggs? Bacon? Japanese breakfast? This band is called Japanese breakfast.”
“This one’s about the bold arrow of time. What direction does it really go? Or does it go any direction at all?”
“There aren’t many constants in life but Bruce Springsteen seems to be one of them.”
"Turning pages is virtually impossible for me."
RT @mozaida: "all i have to do is hear 'pie' and i'm hungry..............but hungry for what?" #shitjohnaiellisays @Eklektikos
RT @chucit: @Eklektikos that was "Nobody's Perfect" by Bruce Willis, I mean, Bruce Robison and Kelly Willis. @brucerobison and @KellyWRob…
“I’d hate to say it, but I have a very close friend who loves to let his dandelions grow. I’m horrified just thinking about it.”
RT @Battleship_Down: “Why can’t Willie Nelson be president?” — ⁦…
RT @lemonadechee: This young guy, in his 20s, white guy flipped me the bird! A Big, long, finger he was just so proud of that finger. . .…
“Well, it’s national handshake day. I don’t know who decided that but it’s fun to pull up some songs about hands.”
RT @hmshell: @Eklektikos “For those of you about to step in the shower, I’ve got a surprise for you.”
RT @lemonadechee: My favorite fabric is Rayon. (Good to know)@Eklektikos
“I mean, this is just ridiculous. We’ve got an insanely stupid audio vault and we’ve got an insanely stupid CD player.” #MondayMood
RT @rebeccamcinroy: @Eklektikos "They say a 40% chance of rain on doesn't mean anything but it's nice to think about." @KUTX @e…
"Don't walk all the way to New Orleans, it's pretty far." [plays Fats Domino's I'm Walking To New Orleans]
"We could have a wheel special, there are all sorts of wheels in the world."
“What is grit? Grit is fine, loose particles of sand...”
"What on earth does anyone want with four jars of mayonnaise? Good lord! There's something going on with marketing these days, so watch out." [John on a must buy four deal]
RT @787owhocares: "You can't go up to someone and ask 'What's this tune?' because everyone is listening to their own tunes in their little…
"Now this is an expression that's gone out of fashion: dime store heartthrob."
“Thinking about coins and the passing of coins. Maybe they’ll be resurrected some day in the future ... coins.”
“Let’s have some drapes.” (plays #TwinPeaks theme)
”This song is called ‘Spiders’ ... Can’t you feel yourself getting tangled up?”
“Never put off tomorrow what you can take care of today.”
RT @jessitomio: @Eklektikos as the song ends ...“The great Pedro Infante and Ay, ay, ay, ay” :-) This takes me back to childhood w/ my gra…
RT @DawsonHighland: "what is mascara anyway? hmm, this thing won't... well, anyway, we'll hear a song about mascara, and maybe we'll find o…
“Beef is the subject that we’ll be addressing in just a moment.”
“That was Bight Light Social Orchestra’s [Hour’s] Lie to Me. Is it possible to tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth?” [pregnant pause before underwriters]
[reads the forecast] "Watch out, it's almost here. What? ... You know what." #summeriscoming
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