John Aielli tells stories, jokes, and things you never thought you needed to know. These are a collection of some of those choicest bits of wisdom.
“So many songs these days are so overloaded with ambient sounds and hard beats you can hardly tell what they’re singing about.”
“It says MS. Is that Mississippi or is that Missouri? It’s certainly not Massachusetts is it? Those M abbreviations are impossible to remember.”
“What was that line? ‘You won’t need a camel when I take you for a ride’ ... use your imagination.”
"You know, smelling peaches is a way to tell if they’re good or not ... cantaloupes are another thing, though." #wednesdaywisdom
RT @EdnaADominguez: Handy phrases I learned from @Eklektikos on my 45 minute commute from S. Austin: “Alack and alas...” and “come November…
“By the way, I like elephants I just don’t like them with those red ties.”
RT @LittleMissMushi: “Students are everywhere. Beware the University of Texas...” @Eklektikos
“I’m trapped here ... so many things going on ... all tangled up ... I’ll figure it out.” #MondayMood
“This guy in an old, beat up, red truck ... I never did see his face, but he was INSANE! Zooming in and out, every little crevice he would crawl right into. People on the road ... are not the people you know.”
RT @lemonadechee: Today is a new day. Number one, I'm going to go get me a microwave.@Eklektikos
“I was getting ready to eat my supper, you know, late night supper, and the microwave was broken. Ooooh nooo!”
RT @swavapearl: “That was Amber Mark with the song ‘What If’ ... the question that’s essential to science.” @Eklektikos #Science
What are some of your favorite Aielli song sequences?…
RT @bunbuns36: “Blood and glitter.” @Eklektikos
“Whoops! That [song] just ended and I wasn’t ready. Thankfully, I was here.”
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "Some say that the name comes from Olde English, which was "strew" berries, named because the strawberry c…
“That was ‘Jack Straw’ ... and of course there’s the subject of STRAW-berries.”
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "I've learned a lot in the past couple of years about bleach."
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "A lot of liquor stores in Canada. They like to drink."
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos John: "George Bernard Shaw was not shy." Guest: "No. He was the opposite of shy. He was ebullient." J…
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "Tuvan throat singing and motorcycles. That was The HU. Spelled H-U. When you get home, play it on a good…
“Big organ. Big sound. Arcade Fire. That was so good I wanna play it again. No, I’ll probably get in trouble, gotta play something else... Okay, let’s do it.” [plays Intervention again]
RT @artist_formerly: @Eklektikos "But they were probably all just tourists. I waited until I got home. I got all that ice cream in the free…
“Everybody I saw up there [Canada] was lickin’ on an ice cream cone.”
“It’s 7:36 and you are where you are.”
RT @GayleellisLydia: @pumpfordmovie @Eklektikos “Whatever melts your butter!”
“For years I have not gone to the haircut store, cut it myself.”
“Git yerself out there and have a root beer float today.”
RT @787owhocares: "It's really difficult to 'be here now' because it's already gone as soon as you think it. Anyway, go meditate on whateve…
RT @lemonadechee: He has long hair... beyond shoulder length, about as long as hair can get for a guy. @Eklektikos
RT @lemonadechee: Viscose, that sounds gross.... Viscose is a synonym for Rayon. Viscose and Rayon, cool fabrics, check them out. @Eklekti…
“Begin the Beguine... It’s a catchy title, but what the hell is a beguine?”
“It’s ten minutes until 8 o’clock... and they’re still digging that hole all the way to China across the street.”
RT @lemonadechee: One of the cool things about getting older is that you learn things that you learned before. @Eklektikos
“The inflation is just ridiculous. So what are you gonna eat for breakfast? Oatmeal? Eggs? Bacon? Japanese breakfast? This band is called Japanese breakfast.”
“This one’s about the bold arrow of time. What direction does it really go? Or does it go any direction at all?”
“There aren’t many constants in life but Bruce Springsteen seems to be one of them.”
"Turning pages is virtually impossible for me."
RT @mozaida: "all i have to do is hear 'pie' and i'm hungry..............but hungry for what?" #shitjohnaiellisays @Eklektikos
RT @chucit: @Eklektikos that was "Nobody's Perfect" by Bruce Willis, I mean, Bruce Robison and Kelly Willis. @brucerobison and @KellyWRob…
“I’d hate to say it, but I have a very close friend who loves to let his dandelions grow. I’m horrified just thinking about it.”
RT @Battleship_Down: “Why can’t Willie Nelson be president?” — ⁦…
RT @lemonadechee: This young guy, in his 20s, white guy flipped me the bird! A Big, long, finger he was just so proud of that finger. . .…
“Well, it’s national handshake day. I don’t know who decided that but it’s fun to pull up some songs about hands.”
RT @hmshell: @Eklektikos “For those of you about to step in the shower, I’ve got a surprise for you.”
RT @lemonadechee: My favorite fabric is Rayon. (Good to know)@Eklektikos
“I mean, this is just ridiculous. We’ve got an insanely stupid audio vault and we’ve got an insanely stupid CD player.” #MondayMood
RT @rebeccamcinroy: @Eklektikos "They say a 40% chance of rain on doesn't mean anything but it's nice to think about." @KUTX @e…
"Don't walk all the way to New Orleans, it's pretty far." [plays Fats Domino's I'm Walking To New Orleans]
"We could have a wheel special, there are all sorts of wheels in the world."
“What is grit? Grit is fine, loose particles of sand...”
"What on earth does anyone want with four jars of mayonnaise? Good lord! There's something going on with marketing these days, so watch out." [John on a must buy four deal]
RT @787owhocares: "You can't go up to someone and ask 'What's this tune?' because everyone is listening to their own tunes in their little…
"Now this is an expression that's gone out of fashion: dime store heartthrob."
“Thinking about coins and the passing of coins. Maybe they’ll be resurrected some day in the future ... coins.”
“Let’s have some drapes.” (plays #TwinPeaks theme)
”This song is called ‘Spiders’ ... Can’t you feel yourself getting tangled up?”
“Never put off tomorrow what you can take care of today.”
RT @jessitomio: @Eklektikos as the song ends ...“The great Pedro Infante and Ay, ay, ay, ay” :-) This takes me back to childhood w/ my gra…
RT @DawsonHighland: "what is mascara anyway? hmm, this thing won't... well, anyway, we'll hear a song about mascara, and maybe we'll find o…
“Beef is the subject that we’ll be addressing in just a moment.”
“That was Bight Light Social Orchestra’s [Hour’s] Lie to Me. Is it possible to tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth?” [pregnant pause before underwriters]
[reads the forecast] "Watch out, it's almost here. What? ... You know what." #summeriscoming
RT @EllaPadenLevy: “Happy International Hummus Day, & I haven’t found any songs about hummus so here’s Sun Volt.” -@Eklektikos
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “The eternal curse of my life is not being able to turn pages”
"Those Romans knew a lot."
“Uh oh ... as you know, my favorite thing in this room besides the beloved vault ... is the wicked CD player.”
RT @miro_cassetta: “Count on the French to dig up an old gnarly mushroom and call it a delicacy“ @Eklektikos on the subject of truffles
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “Whoever did that arrangement should be shot... oh wait maybe he already was”
“The fun never stops, it’s just that time whirls around a lot.”
“We’re talking about hands and all the uses for hands. For instance, a hand shake.”
"Don't you sometimes feel funny about your name? My gosh, why do I have this name? But ... what name would you want?"
"We're still figuring out the laws of the universe ... and it might be lawless. Certainly, humans are falling into that category of lawlessness more and more."
RT @lemonadechee: I don't have a crystal ball, and if I did it'll probably be cracked cause i got it at the thrift store. @Eklektikos
"Today is Shakespeare's birthday ... and death day. Not many people can arrange to be born and die on the same day of the year."
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “ I don’t want to see that shark smile. Don’t show me that crocodile.”
"I've got so many lights in my house ... lamps of all kinds, Christmas lights that turn year round, orange Halloween lights ... "
“There are all sorts of warbly birds throughout the year, especially in the spring time. So, have a conversation with a cardinal or a mockingbird. It’s fun.”
RT @loveismaroon: @Eklektikos [sings every part of bohemian Rhapsody]
"Please, pretty please with molasses and honey and sugar on top." #sweet
"Susan Castle [@castle_on_kutx] is here and she's going to POISONING PIGEONS. Watch out."
“We are ALL grackles.”
RT @jerryquijano: “inflation is so terrible, I saw a dime the other day and didn’t bother picking it up.” my hero @Eklektikos
"It's easy to chop down a tree, but it's hard to chop it all up. The same thing with murder; it's easy to kill someone, but difficult to get rid of the body. That was a gruesome image. The crime of crepe murder, er myrtle."
"Carpools all over Austin, but that was @Girlpool." #wordplaywednesday
RT @nosirrahelocin: "I didn't know that an armadillo was a mammal! I thought it was like a possum or something" - @Eklektikos
RT @katiekillian14: “Now Shakey Graves knows he’s kind of shaky” #shitjohnaiellisays @Eklektikos
RT @KUTX: File under two more reasons John Aielli is rad. He cuts his own hair, and customizes his own white tiger jackets. #dailyaielli ht…
"Y'know, there's all kinds of green things in this world. We all want those green lights, don't we?" #GreenLightGo #TuesdayTruth
[reads headline: UT will use geofencing to limit e-scooter speed to 8 mph on campus this week] "Maybe they'll have some regulation to not have people lying down in the middle of the sidewalk."
"Green onions are good too. Well, onions with greens. Green in the color of Austin right now ... Everyone feels better when it's green." #spring #TuesdayMotivation
[after a spot on bed bug removal] "Now I just need to find out how to kill the moths. They eat my rugs. I hate them."
"If you don't believe in inflation, go to the grocery store for heaven's sake."
"It froze ... but the trees will figure out a way to make peaches. And you just made a baby! Is it a girl peach or a boy peach?"
RT @mozaida: "so we must all be prepared to die. you know, we do. but just not today." @Eklektikos #shitjohnailleisays
RT @cameron_tepper: "Time is passing, and things are sprouting" -Said by John Aielli this morning on @Eklektikos What a great way to star…
“Wolves ... they’re very popular on T-shirts these days.”
RT @787owhocares: John Aielli this morning, after playing Sonata #2 in A minor: "If you know Chris Thile and can tell him happy birthday fo…
RT @lemonadechee: @Eklektikos I'm thinking about tall women and there are some!
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