John Aielli tells stories, jokes, and things you never thought you needed to know. These are a collection of some of those choicest bits of wisdom.
RT @mozaida: "all i have to do is hear 'pie' and i'm hungry..............but hungry for what?" #shitjohnaiellisays @Eklektikos
RT @chucit: @Eklektikos that was "Nobody's Perfect" by Bruce Willis, I mean, Bruce Robison and Kelly Willis. @brucerobison and @KellyWRob…
“I’d hate to say it, but I have a very close friend who loves to let his dandelions grow. I’m horrified just thinking about it.”
RT @Battleship_Down: “Why can’t Willie Nelson be president?” — ⁦…
RT @lemonadechee: This young guy, in his 20s, white guy flipped me the bird! A Big, long, finger he was just so proud of that finger. . .…
“Well, it’s national handshake day. I don’t know who decided that but it’s fun to pull up some songs about hands.”
RT @hmshell: @Eklektikos “For those of you about to step in the shower, I’ve got a surprise for you.”
RT @lemonadechee: My favorite fabric is Rayon. (Good to know)@Eklektikos
“I mean, this is just ridiculous. We’ve got an insanely stupid audio vault and we’ve got an insanely stupid CD player.” #MondayMood
RT @rebeccamcinroy: @Eklektikos "They say a 40% chance of rain on doesn't mean anything but it's nice to think about." @KUTX @e…
"Don't walk all the way to New Orleans, it's pretty far." [plays Fats Domino's I'm Walking To New Orleans]
"We could have a wheel special, there are all sorts of wheels in the world."
“What is grit? Grit is fine, loose particles of sand...”
"What on earth does anyone want with four jars of mayonnaise? Good lord! There's something going on with marketing these days, so watch out." [John on a must buy four deal]
RT @787owhocares: "You can't go up to someone and ask 'What's this tune?' because everyone is listening to their own tunes in their little…
"Now this is an expression that's gone out of fashion: dime store heartthrob."
“Thinking about coins and the passing of coins. Maybe they’ll be resurrected some day in the future ... coins.”
“Let’s have some drapes.” (plays #TwinPeaks theme)
”This song is called ‘Spiders’ ... Can’t you feel yourself getting tangled up?”
“Never put off tomorrow what you can take care of today.”
RT @jessitomio: @Eklektikos as the song ends ...“The great Pedro Infante and Ay, ay, ay, ay” :-) This takes me back to childhood w/ my gra…
RT @DawsonHighland: "what is mascara anyway? hmm, this thing won't... well, anyway, we'll hear a song about mascara, and maybe we'll find o…
“Beef is the subject that we’ll be addressing in just a moment.”
“That was Bight Light Social Orchestra’s [Hour’s] Lie to Me. Is it possible to tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth?” [pregnant pause before underwriters]
[reads the forecast] "Watch out, it's almost here. What? ... You know what." #summeriscoming
RT @EllaPadenLevy: “Happy International Hummus Day, & I haven’t found any songs about hummus so here’s Sun Volt.” -@Eklektikos
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “The eternal curse of my life is not being able to turn pages”
"Those Romans knew a lot."
“Uh oh ... as you know, my favorite thing in this room besides the beloved vault ... is the wicked CD player.”
RT @miro_cassetta: “Count on the French to dig up an old gnarly mushroom and call it a delicacy“ @Eklektikos on the subject of truffles
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “Whoever did that arrangement should be shot... oh wait maybe he already was”
“The fun never stops, it’s just that time whirls around a lot.”
“We’re talking about hands and all the uses for hands. For instance, a hand shake.”
"Don't you sometimes feel funny about your name? My gosh, why do I have this name? But ... what name would you want?"
"We're still figuring out the laws of the universe ... and it might be lawless. Certainly, humans are falling into that category of lawlessness more and more."
RT @lemonadechee: I don't have a crystal ball, and if I did it'll probably be cracked cause i got it at the thrift store. @Eklektikos
"Today is Shakespeare's birthday ... and death day. Not many people can arrange to be born and die on the same day of the year."
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos “ I don’t want to see that shark smile. Don’t show me that crocodile.”
"I've got so many lights in my house ... lamps of all kinds, Christmas lights that turn year round, orange Halloween lights ... "
“There are all sorts of warbly birds throughout the year, especially in the spring time. So, have a conversation with a cardinal or a mockingbird. It’s fun.”
RT @loveismaroon: @Eklektikos [sings every part of bohemian Rhapsody]
"Please, pretty please with molasses and honey and sugar on top." #sweet
"Susan Castle [@castle_on_kutx] is here and she's going to POISONING PIGEONS. Watch out."
“We are ALL grackles.”
RT @jerryquijano: “inflation is so terrible, I saw a dime the other day and didn’t bother picking it up.” my hero @Eklektikos
"It's easy to chop down a tree, but it's hard to chop it all up. The same thing with murder; it's easy to kill someone, but difficult to get rid of the body. That was a gruesome image. The crime of crepe murder, er myrtle."
"Carpools all over Austin, but that was @Girlpool." #wordplaywednesday
RT @nosirrahelocin: "I didn't know that an armadillo was a mammal! I thought it was like a possum or something" - @Eklektikos
RT @katiekillian14: “Now Shakey Graves knows he’s kind of shaky” #shitjohnaiellisays @Eklektikos
RT @KUTX: File under two more reasons John Aielli is rad. He cuts his own hair, and customizes his own white tiger jackets. #dailyaielli ht…
"Y'know, there's all kinds of green things in this world. We all want those green lights, don't we?" #GreenLightGo #TuesdayTruth
[reads headline: UT will use geofencing to limit e-scooter speed to 8 mph on campus this week] "Maybe they'll have some regulation to not have people lying down in the middle of the sidewalk."
"Green onions are good too. Well, onions with greens. Green in the color of Austin right now ... Everyone feels better when it's green." #spring #TuesdayMotivation
[after a spot on bed bug removal] "Now I just need to find out how to kill the moths. They eat my rugs. I hate them."
"If you don't believe in inflation, go to the grocery store for heaven's sake."
"It froze ... but the trees will figure out a way to make peaches. And you just made a baby! Is it a girl peach or a boy peach?"
RT @mozaida: "so we must all be prepared to die. you know, we do. but just not today." @Eklektikos #shitjohnailleisays
RT @cameron_tepper: "Time is passing, and things are sprouting" -Said by John Aielli this morning on @Eklektikos What a great way to star…
“Wolves ... they’re very popular on T-shirts these days.”
RT @787owhocares: John Aielli this morning, after playing Sonata #2 in A minor: "If you know Chris Thile and can tell him happy birthday fo…
RT @lemonadechee: @Eklektikos I'm thinking about tall women and there are some!
RT @787owhocares: "You never believe how you look until you see yourself in a different mirror." @Eklektikos
RT @mozaida: "anytime you give someone a rose, you're giving them A DEAD ROSE." #shitjohnailleisays @Eklektikos
“Anyone involved in the whole scene of love will tell you it’s a lot of work.”
“That was Dean Martin with You’re Nobody Til Somebody Loves You. I disagree completely unless that somebody is yourself.” #ValentinesDay2019 #dailyaielli
“Before you love your valentine you have to love yourself ... and the ride. Ride the beast.” #HappyValentinesDay #dailyaielli
RT @mozaida: "why do you love someone? because they're nice to you and they probably like you too..." #shitjohnailleisays @Eklektikos
RT @lemonadechee: Wen-s-day. You're putting the n before the d. -English lessons with Ailley @Eklektikos
“Look at that, it’s eleven minutes before the hour. How did that happen? Every day it happens and I don’t know how.”
“Water. What would we do without it? We are it. We’re made of 80% water or something like that. I just made up that statistic, don’t listen to me.”
RT @ingthingg: A good Monday starts with @KUTX and musings by @Eklektikos "well anyway here's Childish Gambino who always makes me think of…
“There’s the Purple People Eater song which we probably shouldn’t play, but it has purple in it. Purple ... such a funny word.” [plays Flying Purple People Eater]
“It’s 7:47, and that’s an airplane. Or it used to be.”
RT @LittleMissMushi: @Eklektikos I never follow a recipe. I do come up with some interesting creations.
RT @mozaida: "okay... are you ready for this? today... is the day... that raccoons mate. it says so right here." @Eklektikos #shitjohnaiell…
RT @lemonadechee: So keep your eye peeled for raccoons mating... They probably do it at night....@Eklektikos
RT @macyd: @Eklektikos *critiqing the grammar of the lyrics of a Molly Burch song* But then, listen to how we talk! It's a wonder we can co…
“I live in the land of speed bumps.”
“Watch out. Poison ivy.”
"I couldn't mow the leaves so I mowed my hair. Did a pretty good job. It's funny how things bleed into another."
“It’s 8:53 and where do things go? Where are my keys? Oh yeah, in my pocket.”
“I’d rather eat liver and onions than roasted fish and corn bread. Wha- how’s that? I guess roasted fish would be all right.”
“I’ve gone wild for a black eyed peas and collard greens. I’ll eat them all year.”
“I don’t know about computer love but maybe there’s such a thing.”
"We wouldn't be doing Christmas right without the Christmas snake. [@raywylie's Snake Farm starts playing] There's a lot of delish ways to cook a Christmas snake."
RT @StrictlyCircus: “Freedom. It’s a word that doesn’t mean much, until it’s taken away.” - @Eklektikos
“I don’t understand how anybody can get by without having y’all in their vocabulary.”
"Do you have trouble turning pages? I have a terrible time."
RT @DawsonHighland: @Eklektikos "man, plants are so rewarding, until then all of a sudden they just up and die. that's life. well, let's se…
“Have you ever thought about your hands being naked? Your hands are almost always naked.”
"Getting that watch band off that old watch was a three-day challenge."
RT @matt_cardinal: @Eklektikos “You don’t need to take drugs, just listen to @radiohead “
“There are so many names for so many different kinds of music. It’s just music.”
RT @DawsonHighland: Wholesome @Eklektikos : "Total Disaster… No one's a total disaster. We all have our insecurities, yes, but no one's a t…
"You've come to Austin, TX the allergy capital of the world."
RT @ParisMygatt: “An Italian redhead, imagine that.” @Eklektikos
“Dickens goes well with Christmas, even in Austin with global warming and 79° tomorrow, oh boy.”
“What on earth do we eat and why? Gotta stay alive.”
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