Christian husband, homeschooling father of four awesome kids, Austin Texas real estate broker, writer, ENFP.
I think I like this picture of my daughter at her guitar lesson better. Pure enjoyment. https://t.co/Q6R1OiLKCg
Overheard from a friend: "I am doing yoga with rescued pigs" - best excuse, to date, for why an agent can't hold an open house.
My 10 yo daughter is enjoying her guitar lessons so far. She is also involved in soccer each day, and she’s learning to cook. On that note, she’s presently saving up to buy a stand mixer she found online. I did not know exactly what a stand mixer was until she told me this. https://t.co/1soD6vpQVD
RT @TheHyyyype: me: i want vanilla ice cream ben & jerry's: try this willy nilli milli vanilli me: just regular vanilla plz ben & jerry'…
I still remember Night Ranger’s prophetic song about this contest. “Whiskey Kirsten” was a big hit for them back in 1984. twitter.com/sengillibrand/…
RT @daddydoubts: I never made it as a professional athlete but at least none of my other dreams came true.
RT @shannontakaoka: @KellyCoon106 READ READ READ as much as you can, as often as you can. I always learn something new when I read a book a…
RT @ConanOBrien: Dear middle-aged white men running for president: you've heard of sports cars, right?
I think the most important part of the current news cycle is being able to see what all 25 Democratic candidates and select Democratic members of Congress thought of Trump’s latest stupid tweet.
I can relate to going viral for something undesirable. Thank God it was not a typo, though. twitter.com/dadthatwrites/…
RT @daddydoubts: 2yo: here daddy. Me: aw thank you what is it? 2yo: it’s grass. Me: well I love it. 2yo: *running away crying* mommy! d…
RT @patsajak: A quiet day at the mall. Walking around, unnoticed, until someone yells, “Hey, it’s Pat Sajak!” Then pandemonium: handshakes,…
I can relate to that last line especially. twitter.com/sah_nursemom/s…
There is no Ellis Island type of facility and the process of screening immigrants was comparatively fast 100 years ago. Then again, I understand that was all before terrorism was a threat. Still, what lessons from Ellis Island could we apply today?
It seems convenient to call them asylum seekers if you do not like Trump, and illegal immigrants if you do. I don’t know the truth on this, and you probably don’t, either. Regardless, there are many more people coming across our southern border than we can easily process. 3/
The border is an obvious mess. I just wish I saw one different solution proposed rather than complaints alone. If the detention centers were closed, what are the alternatives? Mass deportation? Release them as homeless people here? Give them housing vouchers and food stamps? 1/
None of these ideas seem to be desirable alternate outcomes, yet I don’t know if there are any other ideas proposed. Additionally, there seems to be a fundamental difference of opinion about who is being held. Are these people immigrants or asylum seekers, or both? 2/
I sincerely may abstain from voting in the next presidential election. I may change my mind over the next 16 months, but I am not interested in any of the people I see currently running.
My daughter and her cousins and another friend made a massive fort using 10-12 blankets earlier today in our living room. It was like a quick tent city formed. Cc: @lizabrahamsen @pammalamma https://t.co/FE9czYsS72
You will see tons of headlines about this. All of them ads clickbait. The number 007 is reassigned, but James Bond is still Daniel Craig. twitter.com/dailycaller/st…
This supplants the earlier stupid tweet as the new reigning champion. twitter.com/thehill/status…
RT @robkroese: I always laugh when Word wants to correct "a few hundred armed men" to "a few hundred-armed men"
RT @LisaBritton: I believe our society is in desperate need of a little wholesomeness. Every week, my family has a big Sunday Supper with…
This is quite literally one of the stupidest things I have ever read. twitter.com/theramsreporti…
Someday, Tom Brady could become the Roger Federer of football. #federerGOAT
RT @TitaniaMcGrath: Men will often conceal their misogyny by being “nice” to women. So if you have a male friend who has never hit you, sp…
Want to join 851,000 of your closest friends in this endeavor? https://t.co/VjFmLFZTgK
RT @bartandsoul: A luxurious Sunday brunch, only it’s me, hungover, standing on my deck in boxer shorts eating a Pop-Tart
My 10 yo daughter baked this vanilla sheet cake and put some caramel frosting on it yesterday, with no help from anyone else (other than buying a couple of ingredients she needed). This was her very first attempt at baking. https://t.co/zOHtkrdid9
RT @Reuters: WATCH: Hawaii-based artist @taimanegardner plays 'Carmen' on ukulele https://t.co/ib1cPfrvZr
“An Orange County child rapist gets exceptionally light punishment”. There. Fixed it for you, LA Times. twitter.com/latimes/status…
As a dad, this commercial is a massive turnoff to me. I don't like the fact that they call the kids "little maniacs" and making having more kids seem less desirable. ispot.tv/ad/oTvE/2019-b…
RT @dad_on_my_feet: Our 3yo sat on Grandpa’s lap Clinging to a blanket Staring at the TV. “I need to stand up, Buddy”, whispered my FIL.…
Regardless of how you feel about ICE, no one could possibly think this act will sway any neutral or opposed opinions. Foolish. twitter.com/realsaavedra/s…
RT @Shvartacus: Twitter is wild because the dumbest people are like “Mayhaps you have slandered me with that ad hominem” and the smartest p…
I am so thankful for Twitter, where I am reminded each day that Donald J. Trump is clearly the best President in our collective lifetimes, and also the man who is destroying our country with his insane dictator policies.
I saw that #HarrisonFord was trending, then I was relieved to see that it is his birthday today, and he’s fine. https://t.co/JjUcRyFGTd
The word incorrectly is always spelled "incorrectly" unless it's spelled incorrectly. It is the only word that can be spelled correctly only when spelled incorrectly. Let that sink in.
“You can bring that weed eater to the house anytime.” “Grandpa, you mean Steve?He’s a vegan.”
This man needs to write a book. Follow him if you aren’t already. twitter.com/aelfred_d/stat…
Here’s something you may not have considered: what if Trump has Twitter notifications enabled on his phone?
RT @TheJeremyWarner: My son keeps calling me “Jeremy” like we’re roommates.
RT @Reuters: Michigan man breaks the Guinness World Record for the most burpees in one day with 4,689 burpees in 12 hours https://t.co/OrgA…
My friend was planning to go pick him up and bring him home to take care of him (Orlando vicinity).
Please pray for the 26-year-old son of one of my friends. He was beaten unconscious by skinheads in the Tampa area while apparently trying to help a girl, and he is now having issues with his eyesight. He had to have surgery, and his family didn’t even find out until days later.
Ross Perot was apparently one of the largest donors to my mom’s agency, the Suicide and Crisis Center in Dallas. I love him for this. @SCCenterNTX
RT @pulte: I’m giving away $103,000.00 Cash here on Twitter! Every Thursday LIVE at 1pm ET, I’ll pick people who will receive up to $3,000…
My daughter forgot her soccer T-shirt and ran back into the house to get it, saying “shirt shirt shirt shirt shirt”, Which seems like AutoCorrect, but it isn’t :-)
RT @caroljsroth: The fact that people thought Robert Redford was Zach Galifianakis is proof you should generally disregard whatever people…
The use of this song in the first episode of Stranger Things 3 was masterful and such a great nostalgic callback. youtu.be/BZhfFXEMMI4
Astounded to realize how many people did not know this was Robert Redford, and how many also thought it was Zach Galifinakis. twitter.com/splinter_news/…
Attention candidates for the 2020 presidential race: if you want to impress me and others, make a statement of authenticity that demonstrates that you are not perfect, or talk about something you are passionate about without mentioning your opponents in any way.
RT @lizinthelibrary: Overheard in the library: "you have 15 books! 15! We are coming back later this week, it will be okay." 9 year old gir…
RT @crkleffner: Hey folks, really could use some prayers for my sister, Theresa. We call her Tree. She’s freaking awesome and has been bat…
I read this incorrectly and got briefly excited about a new pathway to citizenship. twitter.com/scottpresler/s…
”The girls and women who reported abuse by Epstein, meanwhile, were markedly powerless. Most of them ‘came from disadvantaged families, single-parent homes or foster care,’ Brown reports. “Many of the girls were one step away from homelessness.” google.com/amp/s/www.vox.…
Do you know what a “bandit” sign is? It’s a temporary sign that Realtors and home builders use to direct people to properties. Can anyone explain why there have been bandit signs all around my neighborhood advertising for people to accept foster kids?
RT @thedad: oh sorry I missed your call I was busy staring at my phone for nearly every waking moment of my day
Sadly, this is probably true for me most of the time. https://t.co/sDKFRqA9FL
RT @lizabrahamsen: How about we all agree to be less angry both online and in public? Be more patient, and in less of a hurry. Have more co…
Who will step up to take Swalwell’s place as the 25th candidate?
I like Megan Rapinoe, and I enjoyed watching her play in the World Cup and win. I don’t care even a little bit what she thinks of Donald Trump. And she did not “trample” the flag. Her foot touched it in the midst of an emotional celebration.
I saw multiple posts about the fact that “Wikipedia altered Jeffrey Epstein’s bio” yesterday, as if it were a corporate entity opting to whitewash/edit things. I guess they do not understand that Wikipedia articles are edited by regular people and can change instantly?
I once met Boris Becker at a Simple Minds concert with @other_shoe. With Wimbledon underway, this seems like topical yet also somehow hopelessly dated thing to mention.
Here I am, spending another day not boycotting anything.
If you haven’t yet seen it, check out “Documentary Now”, which has three seasons on Netflix now. Each episode is a stand alone parody of an actual documentary. Genius-level comedy. Watch the real film first if you can.
Iran hostage crisis - it lasted 444 days. twitter.com/slothanova/sta…
I find it funny when a poll is published and people react with “well, they sure didn’t ask me!” as if that somehow invalidates the findings. Polls use statistical analysis and they share the margin of error as part of the results. They really don’t have to literally ask everyone.
We see a lot of bunnies around our house. https://t.co/GDeafO8Ed8
RT @jakeyapp: Omg they thawed out a worm and it started wriggling and it is FORTY-ONE THOUSAND YEARS OLD nationalpost.com/news/world/anc…
RT @RummaTumTums: If you ain't got marinara, then brother you ain't got cheese sticks.
RT @marinamaral2: Colorized by me: Boy seated in the wreckage of a building after a bombing raid of London during World War II. Photo by T…
RT @TomBrady: Think I’m gonna try a glove on my throwing hand this year 🤔 https://t.co/gCrB20KTIW
RT @aelfred_D: Before air conditioning, you should really be air shampooing. Hey, you followed me, this is like 70% on you.
RT @GimbalLocke: This, but unironically. It’s so fulfilling. twitter.com/peterjhasson/s…
RT @SketchesbyBoze: tell me about that one book you read as a child that made you a story addict, the one that got your pulse racing and ke…
Today I learned that the White House has a basement. twitter.com/thehill/status…
I watched the last four games for the US Women’s National Team, because my 10 yo soccer playing daughter was excited about it. It was a really fun experience that we enjoyed together. Surprisingly, we didn’t have to discuss politics to have this shared fun time. #WorldCup2019
This person actually thinks this course of action is justified. His logic is as folllows: one man is indicted for hideous crimes. Another man was his friend for many years, so he must now leave his job. twitter.com/funder/status/…
Tired of media injecting politics into everything. Let me repeat: I do not care about the political views of athletes or entertainers, or even those of CEO’s.
I like this sink I saw in a home I showed over the weekend. https://t.co/ectQ4V4wpm
RT @aelfred_D: F: Ok, our couch is awful and sagging and broken. Me: Totally. F: So we should buy a new one. Me: Whoa why
RT @PearlsFromMyrna: God knows it’s acceptable to gossip as long as you’re in a Panera.
I started following this account, which cusses at me while reminding me to stay hydrated. twitter.com/drinkwaterthot…
My wife @pammalamma noted this toreador’s incredible resemblance to Paul McCartney today at @ChuysRestaurant. https://t.co/fNieEADEmt
I am showing homes in Georgetown today. As you are probably well aware, it’s always a good sign when you see a vulture perched on the home and many others nearby. Kidding, of course. Yikes. https://t.co/rtQ6so04NW
Two things to remember: 1. God loves you no matter who you are or what you have done. Yes, really. 2. Think of your least favorite person. God loves that person, too. I need these reminders myself frequently.
 
 
 
 
 
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